Registrar and celerbants both offer ‘personal wedding ceremonies’, so whats the difference?

If you've already booked a registrar, maybe skip this one, I really don't want to put a dampener on your excitement when I show you the proof! But if you're newly engaged and still figuring out the ceremony side of things... keep reading, because what I'm about to show you might just change everything about your wedding planning.

Congratulations, You're Engaged! 🥂

First things first, CONGRATULATIONS! You've just said yes to forever with your favourite human, and I'm genuinely buzzing for you. Now, before you get lost in the Pinterest rabbit hole of table runners and napkin folds, let me share something with you that nobody tells you when you're first planning a wedding in the Ribble Valley, Yorkshire Dales, Lake District or in fact anywhere in England and Wales.

Here's What They Don't Tell You About your Wedding Day

You have a choice of officiant for your wedding ceremony. Your venue may have told you to “now go book the registar” because their training manual is old and hasn’t been updated. Savvy couples know to separate the legals from the actual wedding ceremony by doing the legal admin at the register office and then having a celebrant to officiate at their venue…and they known that the difference is wild!

Here are two sets of photographs, first the legal admin at the register office and then the celebrant ceremony at their venue. It’s the same couple, the same photographer and the same day.

The registrar wedding ceremony completes the legal paperwork, it’s led by nice ladies, but they are complete strangers and I’ll never understand how they are allowed to state ‘personal’ in their marketing . Focus and main character energy is all on the government process, not on you.

Then we have the personal celebrant wedding ceremony, the genuine personal ceremony, heartfelt moments to tell the couples love story so far, led by a professional wedding celebrant who is not a stranger to the couple and now feels like a friend. Full focus and the main character energy is all on the couple and their love story.

First, the register office - the legal bit:

No words needed, body language saying it all

Look at the body language. The formal stance. The "we're getting through this" posture. That gorgeous couple standing stiff as boards, hands clasped in front of them, barely touching. Even their little one looks uncertain. The registrars were nice, but they were still strangers who only met this couple a few minutes before their ceremony and you can feel and see this disconnect! This is the disconnect that I’m always talking about on my TikTok channel, I’ve seen this disconnect hundreds of times, this always happens when couples invite strangers, government officials into their venue… it feels all wrong.

Same couple, same day, same Photographer… difference in body language, energy & connection is wild!

Relaxed, we were discussing what we thought Chloe’s dress would look like

Here she is and doesn’t she look fabulous!

Heartfelt vows and a few giggles… the guests are immersed in the ceremony.

A surprise third ring and cute family vows, because it was all about being family too 🧡

LOOK AT THE DIFFERENCE.

Look at how comfortable they are. Fully connected, totally relaxed. Laughing during the ceremony, emotion, happy tears, sharing genuine smiles with their guests, everyone completely immersed in the experience… and then the dip!

The same photographer captured both ceremonies, I’ve said it before, but the difference in energy and body language is wild!

The Disconnect is REAL

In the register office photographs, you can feel the formality. The "let's get through the legal bit" atmosphere. Barely breathing, uncertainty. It's giving airport security vibes.

But here's the thing, it's actually WORSE when registrars come to your venue. This is what I’m always telling couples on my TikTok and Instagram - the strict, cold, registrar ceremony doesn’t fit into the rest of your relaxed and warm wedding day at your venue. You’ve personalised everything, but you’ve been told to settle for a rigid ceremony template delivered by a stranger, someone who makes you act formally and not like your natural self?

Picture this: It’s your wedding day, you’ve spent all morning getting ready, surrounded by your people. Music playing. Fizz flowing. Your family and friends around you, they are your security blanket.

Then the registrars arrive. Everything changes, it suddenly becomes all "passport control” and “headteacher in your classroom” serious!

These strangers ask for "a moment alone" with you. Your security blanket is gone as family and friends are banished into the hotel corridor. And you're being quizzed about your freedom to marry, just minutes before you’re meant to glide down the aisle looking relaxed and happy. Vibe =anxious!

This whole section of your day is WRONG. It looks wrong and it feels wrong.

When I was a wedding manager I witnessed this disconnect hundreds of times over, it's the reason I became a celebrant. Because couples like you deserved better, they deserved:

NO STRANGERS demanding alone time just before your ceremony
To choose the CEREMONY TIME (no "sorry, we only have 11am available" - meaning hair + MUA at 5am)
To choose the LOCATION (literally anywhere, licensed or unlicensed venue)
UNRESTRICTED CONTENT (your vows, your music, no content police telling you "Ordinary" by Alex Warren is banned because it says "holy water")
NO BORING TEMPLATES that sound like everyone else's wedding

Everyone in the wedding industry knows this disconnect exists. Your photographer sees it. Your venue coordinator feels it. That's why wedding suppliers LOVE celebrant-led ceremonies, we finally get to see couples being themselves, actually feeling comfortable.

I wasn't a stranger meeting for the first time on their wedding day, I was someone they trusted. I'd even been invited to their home, I'd watched their daughter doing gymnastics in the living room. I'd had their dog sprawled across my lap while we put the finishing touches to their ceremony.

That’s the connection that makes all the difference, puts you at ease, allows you to relax. That’s the way it should be.

And your photographer catches ALL of that.

So You’ve Found the Dream Wedding Venue, What Next?

WAIT – Before You Book Anything, Read This! 🚨

Your wedding venue might say:

"Congratulations! Now go book the registrar to attend on the day."

Even worse? They might offer to provisionally book the registrar FOR you!

Don't fall for it.

This is old venue training manual advice. Venues often don't know (or don't understand enough to be able to explain to you) that you can separate the legal bit from your actual ceremony.

So. Here's what savvy couples do instead:

The Legal Bit (book a 2+2 Statutory Ceremony):

£68.50 at your local register office
3 minutes
2 witnesses
1 line to repeat + your full names
Done. Legally married.
No vows. No rings. No fuss. Just the paperwork.

Think of it like getting a birth certificate for your marriage. Important? Yes.

The highlight of your life? Absolutely not, in fact dare I say the 2+2 statutory ceremony is a completely underwhelming experience, do it a few days before and get it out of the way, so you can really enjoy your wedding day!

Your ACTUAL Wedding Ceremony:

This is where the magic happens. This is what modern couples want. This is what a Celebrant Led 🧡 ceremony:

✨ Connection – Someone who knows YOUR story
✨ Choice – You choose ceremony time, not what the registrar has available
✨ Freedom – Marry anywhere (licensed or unlicensed venue!)
✨ Emotion – A ceremony that makes your guests cry ugly tears, get go
✨ Personalisation – So personal your guests say "OMG That was SO them!"
✨ Intent – Feeling, purpose and values are all aligned.
✨ Memories – The ceremony people talk about for years: "Best ceremony I've ever been to!"

The Photos Never Lie

Georgie Beck captured both moments beautifully, but even the best photographer can't photoshop in connection. They can't edit out low energy, fear, strained body language or anxiety.

Your photographer captures every moment. Every smile, every tear, every quiet glance. And those photos are forever.

Which energy do you want? "Completing government admin formal" or "best day of our lives"?

Because you'll see the difference every time you look at your wedding album.

This is why photographers and musicians love celebrant-led weddings, your energy enhances their best work.

Let's Make Your Wedding About YOU 🧡

I'm not here to bash registrars, they're just doing their job! But I am here to tell you that you have a choice. A choice that most couples don't even know exists.

You can have both. The legal bit AND the meaningful bit. The paperwork AND the magic.

And honestly? Once you see the difference in these photos, it's hard to unsee it.

Huge thanks to the gorgeous Chloe and Anthony for allowing me to share their experience and photographs, so I can educate couples just like you. Photography credit to the fabulous Georgie Beck.

So to recap, if you're newly engaged and reading this thinking "wait, can we do THAT?" Yes, you absolutely can!

Let’s chat about your celebrant led ceremony for your 2026, 2027 or 2028 wedding. (And if you’ve changed your mind about having registrars, get in touch via the button below and I’ll tell you what you need to do.)

Let's make it happen 🧡

Katie x

Check your date

P.S. Share this blog with your partner and your engaged friends. They deserve to know they have options!

P.P.S. Seriously, look at those photos one more time. The difference is everything.

Katie Flanagan is the number 1, go to sustainable wedding celebrant for personal weddings across the Ribble Valley, Lune Valley, and the Yorkshire Dales.

Award Winning | 5 ⭐ reviews |Yorkshire |Lancashire | Cumbria

Registrar vs Celebrant see the difference 📸 Same Couple, Same Day, Same Photographer!