Wedding Wardrobe Wars: Can I Ban My Mother-in-Law From Wearing Blue?
Q: WILL I BE A BRIDEZILLA IF I TELL MY FUTURE MIL SHE HAS TO TAKE HER BLUE DRESS BACK?
I am so upset. I had this beautiful plan for my mum to be my "Something Blue," so she has bought a gorgeous blue dress to surprise everyone. Now, my husband to be says his Mum has announced she is also wearing blue! Apparently it is the only colour that suits her, she won't change it, and she says I need to "get over myself" because I can’t ban a colour. It has totally spoiled my vision for my mum’s special role.
Am I being a bridezilla if I tell her she has to return it?
A: GENTLY, KINDLY... TAKE A DEEP BREATH. WE CAN FIX THIS WITHOUT A FAMILY FEUD.
I completely understand why you feel deflated. When you have a "clear vision" for your wedding—especially one that involves a sentimental nod to your mum—it feels like a personal slight when someone else seemingly tramples over it. You want your mum to feel unique in her role, and right now, it feels like that "Something Blue" moment is being diluted.
But before you send that "take it back" text, let’s look at the wedding industry’s best-kept secret for peace: The Husband-to-Be Buffer.
1. LET YOUR FIANCÉ TAKE THE LEAD on this one
This is the golden rule of wedding planning: You manage your parents; he manages his.
The Strategy: Your husband-to-be knows his mum better than anyone. He knows how to coax her, which "buttons" to push, and how to explain—without it sounding like a demand from you—that your mum has a very specific symbolic role tied to that colour.
The Conversation: If he approaches her saying, "Mum, I want you to look amazing, but the blue is actually part of a surprise tribute for [Bride's] mum," it lands much differently than if it comes from the bride.
2. THE "SOMETHING BLUE" TRUTH
Here is the comforting reality: even if they both show up in blue, your mum is still your "Something Blue."
The Sentiment: That title isn't about the fabric; it is about the intention and the person.
The Photos: Your photographer (who, as we know, loves a relaxed vibe!) will capture the connection between you and your mum. Your guests will see your mum’s role through the flowers, the speeches, and the way you interact. A Mother-in-Law in a similar shade won't take that away from you.
3. BRIDEZILLA SCORE: LET’S BE HONEST 👀
Demanding she returns the dress herself:8/10 🚩 (This is a one-way ticket to a lifelong grudge with your new in-laws!)
Feeling upset and venting to your friends:2/10 (Totally human! You’re allowed to be annoyed when a vision is disrupted.)
Letting your husband handle his mum while you stay "Team Chilled":0/10 — Iconic behaviour.
4. WHY ROOM TO BREATHE MATTERS
Just like we talk about letting a ceremony breathe by using a celebrant, your relationships need room to breathe too.
The Big Picture: Years from now, you won't look at your album and think, "I wish there was less blue." You will look at it and remember the joy.
Supplier Insight: Ask your photographer! They are experts at posing groups so that your mum is front and centre next to you, ensuring her "Something Blue" status is perfectly captured, regardless of what anyone else is wearing.
THE BOTTOM LINE
You can’t "ban" a colour without looking a bit like a Bridezilla, but you can ask for a compromise through the right channels. Let your fiancé deal with the diplomacy. If she still wears blue? Let it go. Your mum knows she is your "Something Blue," you know she is, and that is what makes the tradition special.
Focus on your 12 pm garden ceremony and that relaxed celebrant-led vibe—on the day, you’ll be so happy you won’t even notice the shade of her hemline!
I want my bridesmaid to dye her hair, ‘Am I Being a Bridezilla?’
Am I Being a Bridezilla?
I’m a bride to be and I’m paying for my bridesmaids dresses, hair up and MUA, and I had a clear vision that they would all look the same.
All of my bridesmaids have naturally dark hair except one, who has had very vibrant red hair (think Diane from Strictly!) for the last year. It really suits her, but it clashes with the dress colour I want them to wear and she stands out a lot in photos. I’m blonde and, if I’m being honest, I do want to stand out on the day.
I’m considering asking her to dye her hair back to her natural colour for the wedding… but I’m worried this might make me look like a bridezilla.
A: Short answer? yes, You’re in the Bridezilla zone!
We get it, it’s completely normal to want a uniform look for your wedding, so you’re not unusual for caring about how your photos look or how everything comes together visually. That is part of the fun of planning. But asking someone to change their hair colour, especially a bold, long term colour that is part of how they express themselves, crosses over from wedding styling into personal identity.
Why asking a bridesmaid to change her hair is tricky
Hair colour isn’t like a dress you can zip on and take off. It isn’t even like makeup that washes away at the end of the night. It is:
Part of how someone shows up in the world
Something they have likely invested time, money and confidence into
A look they have chosen for themselves, not for an event
So even if your intention is purely about your wedding aesthetic, it can land as: “Can you change who you are for my photos?”
The only possible exception: If you offered to fully pay for a professional colour change and the cost of returning it to red immediately afterwards, you could open the conversation. But she must feel 100 percent safe to say no. No awkwardness. No fallout. No sulking.
Your bridal party was never going to match anyway
This is the bit that often gets lost in Pinterest perfect planning. Even if everyone had the same hair colour, your bridesmaids are not identical clones. They already have different heights, body shapes, skin tones and ways of carrying themselves.
What to do instead (that actually works in photos)
If your concern is the visual flow, you have much better options for a rebel luxe vibe:
Choose a dress colour that complements a range of hair tones.
Use a consistent hairstyle such as all sleek buns or all beachy waves rather than identical hair colours.
Tie it together with accessories like matching bouquets or textures.
Lean into the individuality vibe. Modern weddings look better when people feel comfortable and look like themselves.
But I want to stand out as the bride…
You will. Not because of your hair colour, and not because your bridesmaids blend into the background. You’ll stand out because you are the one walking down the aisle and the centre of every emotional moment.
Bridezilla Score: Let’s be honest here 👀
Asking her to dye it without considering her feelings: 8/10 🚩
Thinking about it but choosing not to ask: 2/10 (You’re human!)
Leaning into her individuality: 0/10 — Iconic behaviour.
The Bottom Line
If she is important enough to be in your bridal party, she is important enough to show up exactly as she is. Years from now, you won’t care if the shades matched perfectly. You will care that your favourite people were there, comfortable and completely themselves.
That is what makes a wedding feel as good as it looks.